Nothing like a looming pandemic

May 7, 2009 at 4:17 am | Posted in Lunatic Ravings | 1 Comment
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There is nothing like a looming flu pandemic to make you really, really glad you quit smoking. I always worried about catching the flu’s we knew about because of smoke and hence got the shot every year in the hopes that would work.

It feels good to know that every day my lungs are bit stronger and more able to handle respiratory illnesses. It feels like creeping closer to a due date. Every day that a baby stays inside, the better the lungs get. Every day that I don’t smoke, mine sorta do the same thing. I am hoping that counts for something.

Moving on

April 3, 2009 at 4:22 am | Posted in life, Quit | 5 Comments
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I have increasingly been realizing that I have reached a new stage of my quit. I am not posting here as much and it has been days since I have been to the quit support site. I am have been setting down those crutches and am starting to walk or even run on my own.

I think I need to find a new direction to take this blog in. While the rest of my life will always be lived “beyond the haze”, I don’t need to live the rest of my life in the throes of the quit. It is time to transition into the life that staying quit is making it possible to live.

Angry

March 16, 2009 at 4:02 am | Posted in Quit | 1 Comment
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I am just an angry pain in the ass. I am not sure why. I guess it has something to do with the 5 stages of grief or some sort of psychological crap.

I got through all of the stress I have recently been through just fine. Now that things are relatively calm again, I just want to smoke. It is like being a newborn vampire. My lozenges are keeping me vegetarian.

I think I skipped a few stages of my quit because of all stress that we have been dealing with and got a bit over confident. It helps to know that Dave was in the same place a few days ago and he got through it. Right now, it just sucks.

what’s going on?

March 10, 2009 at 6:03 am | Posted in life | Leave a comment
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Let me know if you know because I don’t have a clue.

I called to make Rai’s appointment today and word hadn’t trickled down. The appointment person tried to give me one that was a month out. I pointed out that she had hole in her head and that we were supposed to be seen sooner.

Finally word came done that she has an appointment at 12:30 tomorrow and that was all. I swear neurosurgeons have a God complex. If all we do is go in to be told the same thing that we were told on Saturday, I am going to throw a fit. At least throw the CT scan in to mollify me.

Oh-and did I mention that we are expecting a snow storm? This will be an interesting day.

Today we also had the follow up on Laura’s bronchitis and coughing issues. She has  a provisional diagnosis of exercise induced asthma. She does have allergies but she has had a cold almost every 3 weeks since she started preschool. Why did we ship her off? We are technically paying to keep her home when she is sick. The doctor won’t confirm it yet because of her age and the year we have had. Time will tell. I just hope we like what it tells us.

On a positive note-I am handling the stress, dealing and am still smoke free! I am really getting to the point I don’t think about it. I do get stressed out and want something but I don’t always identify that something as a cigarette. I realized that I really just want an escape hatch when that happens. Maybe a weekend off is the answer.

Just another medical day around here

March 5, 2009 at 4:19 am | Posted in life | Leave a comment
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Rai had an appointment today to start serial casting to stretch her heel cords. That is a usual thing around here. Then I get a call from the preschool asking me to come get Laura. Apparently she was running in the classroom, tripped and hit the side her head on the corner of a table.  She was fine when I got there but I could tell the cut was going to need some sort of attention. Luckily, just not immediately.

Off we went to Rai’s appointment. When that was over, we went upstairs to one of our pediatrician’s offices. Laura ended up only needing glue and not stiches. Since is the side of her head, who cares. Her hair will cover any scar.

She doesn’t seem to care and I am not sure she has learned a lesson. Hopefully she will soon before she gets seriously hurt. Rai on the other hand is none too pleased about being back in a cast.

castsandcuts

I can walk(and breathe)!

March 4, 2009 at 4:06 am | Posted in Quit, Special Moments | Leave a comment
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winterwalk61

I had to do some things at the preschool today. When I was done, there was no point in going home just to turn around and come back. I decided to spend the time taking a walk on a path by a stream. I was excited at first that there actually was running water which means it is slowly warming up. Then, as I hiked uphill back to the car, I became excited that I wasn’t breathing like a fish that jumped out of the tank. I might still be out of shape but I can really breathe and walk again! Good thing because I am signed up for a class that starts in 3 weeks that will help me train for a 5k.

Of course, I took pictures all along the way and posted the rest on my photo blog.

I’m Gonna Be

March 1, 2009 at 5:49 am | Posted in Quit | 3 Comments
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This is Dave’s and my song. We walk all of our miles together, to each other and back again. We are still smoke free because of the strength of that bond.

Poor kid

February 28, 2009 at 4:14 am | Posted in Quit | 4 Comments
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laurasick

I am so glad we don’t smoke anymore and for the record, we never smoked inside the house, in our cars or around our kids. This week my youngest had a cold develop into a severe cough and fever. It wasn’t pneumonia though when they first looked at the chest x-ray, they thought it was. The radiologist eventually ruled it out.

She has been through two different antibiotics and now has a nebulizer. She is finally bouncing back and has been fever free for 24 hours now. It is a relief. I am also happy that there is no way that either my husband or myself could have contributed to this at all. Even though we never smoked around her, I imagine the scents on us could be as irritating as a strong perfume is for me.

Did I say that I wasn’t thinking about smoking?

February 25, 2009 at 4:22 am | Posted in Quit | 2 Comments
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I noticed tonight that when I am really tired, I have many more cravings. What was I doing, using the cold and smokes to keep me awake? Perhaps I should just learn to go to sleep like a normal person.

Busy

February 24, 2009 at 4:57 am | Posted in Quit | 3 Comments
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We were on the go today. Laura had a cold last week and during the weekend it it morphed into more. She has been running 101 degree fevers since Friday night, coughing and just plain gunky. So I took her in this morning after getting Rai on the bus and dropping Mira off at school. Laura may or may not have pneumonia again. Her CBC was fine but I guess there was something on the x-ray. She was precribed amoxicillan pending the radiologist’s reading.

We then rushed to my therapy appointment, then to Target to get her script filled and quick lunch, off the the post office and finally took a break at a book store. We spent a few minutes at home and had to go get Mira. We rushed home to beat Rai’s bus and finally were done for the day. Well sorta…we still had the rest of the evening routine but at least that was normal.

What is amazing about the day is how little I thought about smoking. I am reaching the point where I have been not smoking just long enough to go through a crazy day withough thinking about when I would have had a cigarette. I only realized it later when I thought about the day.

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