Shoes….I hate them.

March 21, 2009 at 5:21 am | Posted in 5K, life | 2 Comments
Tags: , , , , ,

Running shoes are sooooo frickity frackin confusing. 20 years ago I went out and bought a pair of Asics and was happy. Now…there are neutral shoes, stability shoes, motion control and I don’t know what else. Oh and trail running, cross training and shoes to wear in case I need to run on broken glass I think.

What I do know is I have flat feet. Bare footed, I tend to over-pronate. In shoes, I am not sure I do. My favorite running shoes in the last few years have been neutral…not that I really ran in them though I did give some half-hearted attempts. I have recently tried some motion control and they hurt like hell. I am going to try some stability ones now. I do have orthotics but they also hurt like hell. Seriously, who lies down and have arches that are the exact same way when they stand. NOBODY! But yet that is how they cast you for orthotics. So I have wonder how things that fit me when I am lying down but pretty much turn me into a supinator when I stand really work. Combine those with motion control shoes and well, we have gone into overdrive.

The cool thing is that I can have these shoe conundrums because I can RUN! I can BREATHE! I ran 3 times this week. I had my day off today which clearly served to confuse me more about shoes. I am back on tomorrow. I think I have been bitten by the bug though. I am thinking beyond this race and bought the 2009 race book for Minnesota. The best race that I found so far has a beer stop halfway and another one at the end. Clearly I am not a true runner yet.

Advertisements

Can’t catch me now!

March 18, 2009 at 2:30 am | Posted in 5K, Quit | Leave a comment
Tags: , , ,

I had my first running class tonight. We are training for a 5K. I RAN! I did it without coughing or gasping for air. Yeah…I am tired and a bit sore but in a good way.

I finally figured out what had been going on in my head. Someone on the quit site posted about having intense cravings more than two months in at the same time he was dealing with a personal situation. A few lightbulbs went off in my head. I realized that I was afraid at failing  another new thing… my class.

If I had given in and smoked, I would have been giving myself an excuse to fail at the running class. The closer the class came, the worse the cravings were. Once I figured it out, the cravings got better. I am happy to say that since I got though the first class that they are pretty much gone!

I can train for the 5K. If I have stayed smoke free this long which is something I didn’t believe in the past that I could do then I know I can be successful at this.

what’s going on?

March 10, 2009 at 6:03 am | Posted in life | Leave a comment
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Let me know if you know because I don’t have a clue.

I called to make Rai’s appointment today and word hadn’t trickled down. The appointment person tried to give me one that was a month out. I pointed out that she had hole in her head and that we were supposed to be seen sooner.

Finally word came done that she has an appointment at 12:30 tomorrow and that was all. I swear neurosurgeons have a God complex. If all we do is go in to be told the same thing that we were told on Saturday, I am going to throw a fit. At least throw the CT scan in to mollify me.

Oh-and did I mention that we are expecting a snow storm? This will be an interesting day.

Today we also had the follow up on Laura’s bronchitis and coughing issues. She has  a provisional diagnosis of exercise induced asthma. She does have allergies but she has had a cold almost every 3 weeks since she started preschool. Why did we ship her off? We are technically paying to keep her home when she is sick. The doctor won’t confirm it yet because of her age and the year we have had. Time will tell. I just hope we like what it tells us.

On a positive note-I am handling the stress, dealing and am still smoke free! I am really getting to the point I don’t think about it. I do get stressed out and want something but I don’t always identify that something as a cigarette. I realized that I really just want an escape hatch when that happens. Maybe a weekend off is the answer.

Smelling….good!

February 16, 2009 at 5:25 am | Posted in Quit | 5 Comments
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Can you smell me?

Can you smell me?

That flower looks like it is smelling me as much I was smelling it.

I am able to really smell again! That is a double edged sword at times because you can smell the bad smells just as well as the good. I took my youngest two to the Minnesota Landscape Arboretum. While we were there, we visited the greenhouse. It was an amazing sensory experience and I am so happy I am not missing out on the full experience anymore. I have more pictures of what we found in the greenhouse on my photography blog

It was an off and on day otherwise. After two nights of insomnia, I was rather run down today. My exhaustion seemed to bring on stronger cravings.  At one point, I left the kids with Dave because I couldn’t deal anymore. I drove around for a bit. I ended up going to McDonalds. I discovered, now that I can really taste, that I really don’t like Chicken McNuggets. Good news for my hips!

Day 5 is over and I am so very glad of it. I am one tired puppy.

Your brain on drugs..and your lungs.

February 15, 2009 at 6:28 am | Posted in Quit | 2 Comments
Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Your lungs on drugs

Your lungs on drugs

I have long thought that your lungs after smoking resembled the snow by the sides of roads. This is a bit of dirty snow by our driveway. I snapped it because it reminded me why I am doing this.

Ok…dramatic imagery done, on to the insane.

Dear god…. the transition from the physical to the physiological withdrawal is rather INSANE! I have done all the research and you all know me well enough that I also read the studies. This day has been the hardest. Actually it has been the the night that is the worst. I have found the physiological to be far more intense and less controllable. My brain is apparently screaming for some dopamine.

We are now entering into the period where it rights itself. Great that means I am going to be a depressed bitch because my brain says so according to the studies. Then again it also tells my heart to beat so I might as well work with it to get through it. This part really is far worse because you are battling yourself chemically in your head.

Yeah…..I have gone insane.

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.
Entries and comments feeds.