Contemplation

February 10, 2009 at 3:57 pm | Posted in Ready to quit | 3 Comments
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Since we set a quit date, every smoke feels like a betrayal, a dirty little secret. I wonder why we are waiting. We gave ourselves excuses to wait and to prepare. I have to believe it will pay off in the end.

The waiting has made us analyze when and why we smoke. I realized while watching House Hunters International last night that I even look at homes like a smoker. In one condo, there was a balcony. My first thought wasn’t about the view. It was about finding a place to smoke outside if I were the one looking at purchasing it.

This is clearly not going to be only about outlasting withdrawal but rather about changing an entire life perspective. I want the change, I am willing to embrace the change. I want to be able to read guide books about National Parks and say I can do those moderate hikes unlike now where they sound too challenging. To use an oft repeated cliche this year, Yes We Can.

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I have a date…

February 8, 2009 at 10:29 pm | Posted in Ready to quit | 2 Comments
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with my future. I am finally ready to quit smoking and face all that comes with it. My husband and I have set the date and we are both quitting on February 11. I am going to use lozenges and he is using gum. My husband and I have taken so many journeys together, we might as well take this one as well. We want a future together. RVing in retirement won’t be as much fun if we both of us aren’t there.

I am scared of failing. I am scared of dying. I want to be free of these bonds. I want to run and hike and do anything I want to do. I want to see where my children’s futures take them.

I started this blog to chronicle my journey and to hold me accountable. I want to be able to look back in the future and know that it was all worth it.

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